As the conversation progresses, I can usually tell the person doesn't have a comprehensive definition of spirituality, nor a grasp of the Bible's definition of it. They also tend to live life on their own terms, skeptical of joining the community of man in any meaningful way.
I know. Those are generalities. And they certainly don't apply to all the church-avoiders who claim to be spiritual. But it's been my experience that the generalities above generally hold true... which tells me that many remain locked-in to a cafeteria style of spirituality - choose a little from this TV talk show or from that religion, or some from this tradition or that one.
So, what is spirituality? I mean, what is true spirituality, according to the revealed, Biblical point of view?
Well, first of all, a spiritual person believes in (and seeks) the spirit world... a realm of existence outside time and space that we can't experience directly with the five senses. And he or she believes that such a world is more complex and detailed than even the natural world we see.
In the Bible, the word "spiritual" comes from the word PNEUMA, a Greek word meaning "air", "wind" or "breath". This word paints the portrait of an environment in the ethereal, invisible regions of God's creation.
Since God Himself is "spirit" (John 4:24), most of His creation could be defined as "spirit" or "spiritual". In fact, the natural world we can experience with the five senses grew out of the invisible, the supernatural. When God created the world, He did it from the pre-existent, supernatural realm.
And since He also created the spirit realm, the people He labels "spiritual" focus their energies, goals, hopes and their whole lives on the spirit realm. They want a life there and plan to live in that realm forever.
Labeling someone as "spiritual" compares to calling someone an "American citizen". It describes the person by describing his origins and cultural environment.
Second, a spiritual person is connected to that invisible realm by having his or her spirit linked through the Holy Spirit.
Notice this contrast in the Bible between the "spiritual" person ("pneumatikos") and the "natural" person ("psuchikos" or earth-oriented, animalistic):
"But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one." (1 Corinthians 2:14-15 NASB).
So there's a stark difference between the spiritual man and the natural one. The spiritual man knows the Holy Spirit and accepts the things that come from God's Spirit. But the natural man can't appraise or understand the spirit realm and its operation on this earth.
That's why so many have a counterfeit spirituality. The real thing eludes them because they don't know about, or haven't experienced, the working of the Holy Spirit. The world is full of counterfeit spirituality, even in the major world religions.
And that's why Jesus deflected the religious (but unspiritual) approach of Nicodemus by saying, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3 NASB).
Then he said, "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit" (Verse 6).
One can't be "spiritual" without surrendering to the work of Christ through his Holy Spirit.
Spirituality comes, not be being a good person in human terms or by being religious. It comes by surrender, in prayer, to the working of God's Spirit. Then one is "born from above" into a new life... a spiritual one.
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